For this months column, our Sam and his lad take a trip to the local sauna and get up to all sorts.
A fun quirk for a gay-about-town starting a new life in a different place is that in and amongst discovering whether your new Tesco will be somehow more exciting than your old Tesco, and whether your new nearest garden centre sells more ferns than your old one (my own secret struggle), you can also discover what your new, nearest gay sauna is like. And it turns out for me here in Wales, pretty decent!
My boy and I were spoilt back in Surrey, with a smorgasbord of nearby saunas to pick from - in Wales we have but one on the outskirts of Newport, and it wouldn't have felt right in the spirit of the new life adventure not to give it a whirl. So whirl it we did, with knobs on (or knobs out, in this case).
After scuttling in through a completely-not-conspicuous-at-all front door (and both clocking the bald'n'beardy hunk scuttling in behind us) we paid our coins and were offered large or regular towels. Uh-oh, a choice! Not something I excel at. I opted for large being a 6ft7 giant; a mistake I'll only make once as the flippin' thing was so big I could have turned it into a toga and still had enough to dry down a damp daddy. My other pro-tip is to put the jingly-jangly locker key wristband they give you on your non-wanking arm ... I didn't do this initially, which led to my boy wondering if it was me playing with his nuts or one of Santa's reindeer.
The usual lineup of sauna facilities were all there - jacuzzi, steam room, sauna, dark rooms, showers etc ... it was a little dated but that didn't matter; as is often the case with saunas it's who's there that really makes it. My boy had a great time with a velvet-mouthed twinky chap who had more suction in him than my new cordless Vax, and we both really enjoyed taking part in what turned into a 'ménage a lost count' in the cinema room upstairs - hands went here, hands went there, mouths went almost everywhere. That game of upright gay Twister featured the bald'n'beardy guy from earlier - who also happened to have a dick like a rolling pin, plus another hirsute, beefy fella proudly owning what I can only describe as the fattest cock I've ever tugged at. Nice.
As like all saunas I've been to as well, it was brilliant to see the whole gay gamut of ages, body types, willies and masculinities present. As someone who used to be very self-conscious, I love how in a sauna all types of men are welcome, and nobody gets judged. Not in my experience anyway. They're not perfect establishments, sure; they're not for everyone and I know some people have had poor experiences. But personally I love that there are spaces like this that exist for us to enjoy if we choose to enjoy them - and I'm doubly glad there's one in my new home. We'll definitely be going back for another whirl.
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