Let's be honest: body positivity as a middle-aged gay man in this world can feel like an uphill climb. We've all seen the body standards in our community — fit, tan, 20-something, and often totally unrealistic to the average Joe. But let's talk about what body positivity means for us, especially when our bodies don't exactly fit those perfect social media friendly molds. I dunno about you, but as much as I love looking at a hot beauty, I'm definitely more four-pack of beers than six-pack of abs.
Here's the thing: embracing our bodies isn't just for twenty-somethings with washboard stomachs. It's for us, the guys with our dad bod energy, wrinkles, and maybe just a little more experience in the game. We're all in this together, navigating the changes that come with age. So, if you've been waiting for permission to love the body you're in, here it is — because we deserve that, too.
We've all seen those guys on dating apps, Instagram and Tik Tok — striking perfectly chiselled poses in the gym mirror. While they're totally rocking it, their looks, and more often their perfectly toned torsos often seem to define them. Sure, it can be aesthetically pleasing, and I'm as much of a sucker for a fit lad as I am a handsome bear. However, there's a lot more to us as men than our physical attributes, particularly as we age. Our life experience, the stories we carry, and the bodies that bear the marks of our journey are what should truly define us. And that's something to be proud of.
This year, more than ever, it's been something that's been on my mind as I age and contemplate how I want to look in my 50s and, more importantly, how I want to live and age healthily. I've tried to reflect this through meat, too, and I'm really proud that this year, nearly all the guys featured in Meat ICONS have been in their 40s, and one of the most popular, Colin is in his fifties. I'm also really proud to have produced one of the most diverse meat naked calenders in the history of meat. There is of course still work for me to do. I will always photograph my share of gym honed studs. Still, I fundamentally believe body positivity means acknowledging that it's not just about one type of "hot." Our wrinkles, scars, and even that bit of extra around the middle are part of who we are. And guess what? That's more than great, it's fucking sexy.
Youth is often seen as the holy grail. But here's the truth: we don't lose our value as we get older — our stories and confidence add to it. It's a myth that only young, lean, or muscular people are beautiful. We can redefine that standard by showing up as ourselves proudly.
Body positivity in middle age isn't just about acceptance; it's about flaunting what we've got. We've earned our bodies, and they tell our stories.
Modern dating (or even hooking up) can be brutal when most profiles look like they belong on the cover of Men's Health. But here's a tip: curate your social media so that you're seeing real, diverse bodies (start with following @meatzine). Block the "perfect" stuff if it messes with your self-worth, and start following people who make you feel good about yourself —especially those who look like you.
We can challenge what we see by choosing to follow authentic people who post their true selves, dad bods and all. Our bodies are valid and should not be hidden.
Self-compassion is also key. Let's not beat ourselves for having a body that isn't "perfect"—it's about showing ourselves some kindness. This can be as simple as giving yourself a break when you're feeling down about your body, or treating yourself to something you enjoy to lift your spirits.
If you're not always "in love" with your body, that's fine, but life's journey is about treating ourselves with respect and kindness, no matter how we feel.
Body positivity doesn't mean you must look in the mirror daily and love every inch of yourself. Some days, we don't feel it, and that's okay! It's normal to have moments of self-doubt. What's important is that we continue to respect and care for ourselves, no matter how we feel.
Self-compassion is my daily go-to. On the tough days, I remind myself that I'm more than how I look and that my body is still worthy of kindness. Some days, it's a pep talk; other days, it's a pizza.
Let's celebrate ourselves exactly as we are — handsome, strong, and unapologetically US! Remember, your body is a reflection of your unique journey, and it's worthy of love and respect, no matter how it looks.
Adrian Lourie
PICTURES:
Peter (meat 5)
Colin (meat ICONS 25)
Bob (meat ICONS 27)
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